"Do I look happy? I should — for I was a child nobody wanted. A lonely girl with a dream — who awakened to find that dream come true. I am Marilyn Monroe. Read my Cinderella story."
Growing up, my family was quite poor. We didn't have a camera ourselves so the little family photos we do have were taken by relatives or friends and given to us. Throughout my early life I was very aware of the fact that my daddy was an ill man. I remember clearly one time, I was home alone with him and I went through into the living room from my bedroom and he was there having an Epileptic fit right next to the fire, his head hitting off the hearth. I must have only been about 4 maybe 5 so I didn't know what to do. I remember just having to sit there watching him fitting, me crying and just wanting mam to come home.
Whenever my dad would ask me what I wanted for Christmas or my Birthday or just a treat for being good, I would always say without a question "All I want is for you to get better daddy.". I remember once after I said that I walked in on him crying to my mam saying he can't give me what I want.
My dad was a softie, a big softie really. He might now have seemed it at 6ft 4, well built and a shaven head but he really was just a big softie who loved animals, Only Fools And Horses and his family. A retired policeman from Newcastle, he was a scary man. People from Tyneside woud say something to my mam and then they'd back track saying "Eeh, I didn't know you were Micks wife, I'm sorry pet.".
In 2007 my dad started getting more and more ill. By October, he had a chest infection and couldn't breath well atall, was aways sleeping and when he was awake he made no sense. One day, I was getting ready for school, it was a Wednesday, and I remember he was particularrily out of it. Mam said she was going to take him to the doctors. Later on, I was in class and we were doing project time when one of the teachers came into class saying that I would be picked up from school early as we'd had an unexpected visitor. When I got into the car mam said that dad was in hospital.
We went to see him and he was in A&E then he was taken to a High Dependancy Ward. He was awake for the little time we were there then fell asleep. We left while he was asleep. I will never forgive myself for that.
The next morning we got a phone call saying that he'd taken a turn for the worst and we should get there quickly to say good bye. When we got there, he was unconcious. We went in and we started crying and telling him we loved him and all the time I was there I kept apoligizing for the stupiest little thing, a few years earlier I asked dad if I could do something and he said no so I asked mam, he said he wouldn't ever forget me going behind his back. Thats all I could think about. We went to the office so mam could phone a neighbour to come take me and my brother home. While we were in there a nurse came in and told us he died. He died 3 minutes after we got there. The nurse told us they were amazed he had lasted that long, that they had told him to hang on because his family were coming to say goodbye and that they believed that was why he had stayed alive.
Dad died because of smoking. He didn't have a chest infection that was making it hard to breathe. He had a tumor that was so big it had collapsed one of his lungs. They said he'd had it for years. They said if he had stopped smoking a few years earlier, 2/3, he would still be alive today. That along with all his other medical conditions, epilepsy, diabetes, back troubles, hallucinations had been the death of him. This strong, ex-navel, huge man had basically killed himself. He left behind a 8 year old son and a 12 year old daughter and a wife.
That was three years ago this Halloween.
I hope to make my dad proud, I hope to go onto do Highers in English and Maths. I'm not sure what I want to do for a job yet, but I want to help people. I've decided to become an organ donor and I'm going to give blood. I want to help people that can't help themselves.
I'm determind that this will be my Cinderella Story. This will drive me to be stronger later in life, give me motive. I'm going to be healthy. I'm going to be giving. I'm going to survive life.
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